Scottish food IS based on a dare

Mike Myers had it right, at least about some Scottish food. But reading about London eateries and afternoon tea made me reminisce about my trip to Scotland last year and some of my food experiences.

I stayed in B&Bs, figuring I'd at least not have to worry about paying for one meal a day, plus, I love UK oatmeal. It's steel cut, so it's like little nuggets of oatmealy goodness, and unless it's preboiled or soaked a long time, it never really softens up. But in Scotland, they make it creamy and soft, with milk.

Breakfast there is like in England, with pots of tea, eggs, bacon and sausages, grilled whole tomatoes, toast, sometimes black or white pudding (which I avoided) and potatoes. It's big and filling -- a great start to the day. And it's quite different than in Italy, where breakfast is often just bread and jam and a lot of delicious coffee.

I had heard Scotland was becoming quite an epicurean country, but I have to say, I did not find that. At one place I ordered a Caesar salad, and the menu said "traditional" dressing, which I thought meant a Caesar dressing. Apparently, "traditional" means a big glob of mayonnaise with two salty anchovy fillets draped across the top. No thanks.

I tried Scottish venison with a red wine and chocolate sauce -- quite tasty, and a Scottish beef fillet, which the restaurant assured me did not come from Highland cattle (whew), and it was about the best beef I've ever had.

I had haggis -- yes, it's true -- not because I really wanted to eat it, but because I wanted to at least say I tried it. Surprisingly yummy, actually. Spicy and dark and rich. The only thing that stopped me from eating more was knowing what was in it.

Fish and chips in Inverness were good with their thick beer batter, except they leave the skin on one side of the fillet, which is not my favorite thing.

I had bad corn chowder, delicious fresh Scottish salmon and some good, but not great, sticky toffee pudding.

Tea and shortbread, at the B&Bs, along the Royal Mile in Edinburgh or beside Loch Ness, was always wonderful.

By far, though, my favorite meal there was the little lunch I had at a cafe along the River Dee, near Aberdeen. I ordered a traditional ham sandwich, and it came, just like my half-Scottish mom made, on buttered brown bread with nothing inside but salty, smoky ham.

Absolutely perfect.