What is that orange sweaty thing?

Someone please explain how Guy Fieri got not just one, but three shows on FN. That orange, sweaty fuck, from now on to be known as OSF, is so annoying.

Come on, you get to travel the country eating at diners, drive-ins and dives -- by definition messy food -- and you can't keep that greasy shit out of your skanky beard? Is that pubic hair on your face? And your bleach job is lame.

Plus, you're not funny, OSF. You're not cute, you're not charming. I don't want to watch you stuff crappy food into your greasy, yapping maw.

You're on that stupid new challenge show with Mark Summers -- also an annoying bastard -- and you have your own cooking show. Blech. I don't want to cook anything you're making.

Plus plus, why do they have to show your shows like 30 times a day, and always reruns?

Did you run out of diners, drive-ins and dives?

If so, good. Now get off my goddamned TV.