False Advertising!

Nothing beats a good corn dog at a street fair. Nothing unless it’s a fraud! A fake! A forgery! A farce!
I was happily wandering about San Francisco’s Gay Pride festival yesterday, quite relieved that Cyndi Lauper had pulled a prima donna fit and cancelled her fifteen minute “show”. Thank God. The last thing in the world I wanted to hear was her screeching and screaming for even fifteen minutes.
I saw a huge sign that said “CORN DOGS!” in front of one of the many food booths so my roommate and I decided to brave the long long lines and grab ourselves a nice old fashioned corn dog. WELL….after waiting patiently and happily in line for a good thirty minutes, what happens? We got to the front and there on a type written “menu” are the words “Vegetarian Corn Dogs $5.” VEGETARIAN! What the fuck? What else was there to do after the long wait but order one, right? YUCK! It was mealy, and soft and absolutely disgusting.
So take my advice. Next time you are at a carnival, a street fair, an outdoor festival or any place that serves “corn dogs”, do yourself a favor. Grab both shoulders of the nearest person waiting in line and roughly shake them and ask them forcefully “Are these corn dogs real?” If they don’t know or get scared, move on to the next person until you get a satisfactory answer. And if the corn dogs are vegetarian…burn the fucking place to the ground!