Lisa! What the hell happened? You had the entire competition in the palms of your flawless and elegant hands. First you manipulated your snot nosed little Girl Scout into agreeing with your menu of steak and couscous. The little brat even adored you! Then you started out with a bang and even Rachel Ray was impressed. You only had four minutes to fill and for the first two, I was standing in front of the television, pulling out my hair and screaming your name in utter ecstasy. Then suddenly….you turned off. It’s like your brain froze or something. You spent the last two minutes of your segment saying NOTHING. Absolutely nothing! What the fuck? Was it Rachel Ray? Did she pinch you really hard off camera, like she’s known to do? Did she hiss at you under her breath? Does she smell and it finally got to your delicate nose?
Oh Lisa, I’m so disappointed. Thankfully they kept you on for another week, but girl….you better get used to the camera otherwise your ass it out of there!
The other contestants didn’t do so well either, except for the wannabe comedienne. He was funny. Ashley, or Tilsday or whatever the hell her over-caffeinated cheerleader name is was horrible. I’d rather rip my eyes out than watch her for a half hour nonstop. The black dude turned his back on the audience AND Rachel Ray for about a minute and believe me, Rachel Ray did NOT like that. And the 18 years old going on 50 years old Shane didn’t even bother to learn his girl scout’s name. Shane even had the audacity to say something about “using his experience” to cook well. He’s only 18 for god’s sake. How much “experience” does he have? He’s never even been to France yet he fancies himself an expert French chef. HA! Luckily it was GO HOME for old man Shane. And good riddance!
Lisa still has a chance but that irritating Ashley may end up taking the whole thing. I hope not. Keep your fingers crossed for Lisa!
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