sooo last of the last cans

Thank God Lorena lives at my house, otherwise I might have drank half a can of enchilada sauce. Or eaten it like soup which was my second inclination. I was about to go get some vodka when she stuck her finger in it and alerted me it was not clamato juice...

It went very well with my bean and cheese papusas... mmm cornbread crusted pockets of fake meaty cheesy spicy beany goodness... Lorena and I ate them too fast for pictures... but I'll post a picture of the leftovers later. mmmmmm. Kevin. That was my treat can...

I'm glad you guys played.

PS... Kevin, let's recap... cabbage, cabbage, bran dough, spicy enchilada sauce... you were thinking of my digestive track? This is the demon can of bran dough by the way.

I have died and gone to heaven......

Most people who know me, know I have a psychotic passion for cream puffs. Well I just got turned on to "Beard Papa's" which is a fucking out of this world bakery that is centered around....cream puffs! They are the most heavenly, delicious cream puffs I've ever tasted in my life.

Check out their website at http://www.muginohousa.com/

The final can

Mmmm. More greens. Collard and mustard in a beefy sauce. It went with my Lean Cuisine chicken and veggies... well, sort of. I drained the sauce and just heated the greens.

Claudia took pictures, but it's after 11 and I'm sleepy.

This was fun!

Day 7, Final Can

Well, I can honestly say I was pretty pleased with my final can. I made a vegetable pasta for dinner tonight. When I opened my can I was a little nervous and if you look at the picture you can see why.

As I dug around in the muck I realized what it was. Canned Alaskan Salmon! This will go wonderfully with my pasta!

Thank's Peter! And thank you all for playing this game. I had a blast!

Bizarre Foods Rocks, Seriously

Although nothing could ever top Bizarre Foods in Iceland with the puffin hunt and the rotted shark, a new episode came close but in a different way. Sometimes on the show, Andrew actually chills the fuck out with the "weird" and "bizarre" bullshit and just gets into a country's culinary culture.

Tonight's show was in Goa, India and it fucking rocked. Very, very little bizarre foods, but more fascinating stuff from India, a place I sure hope to visit someday. He went to a spice farm!! I didn't know pepper was a laxative, did you? I never saw a curry leaf on a curry plant before, did you? Great stuff.

And the street food and curries were just out of this world. It was the most informative and interesting show (save Iceland) so far out of all of his shows. Although his bare chest and bald head getting an Indian oil treatment wasn't something I'd care to see again. Over all, the show was excellent. Watch it!

And The Winner of the Can Game Is......LORENA!

That's it, Lorena wins, I forfeit. I thought I was prepared for my final can, to go along with Korean food ala Hahn's Hibachi, one of the best places to eat ever. Their pot stickers are to die for.


But when I opened my can, what was in it? What was my final treat in a rather fun, if not sick game? Okra soup, that's what. I tried to eat some of it, I really did. But the smell alone made me start to dry heave. And the slimy, oily film across the top from the digusting okra...YUCK YUCK YUCK! So I couldn't do it. You win Lorena.

Day 6 Can 6

Well, well, well, Karma is a bitch, isn't it? Peter got me good today as he provided me with a can of what I think was small child. human child in fish juice. It didn't really go with my turkey meatloaf.

I ate about 3 bites of it and then threw it up. Claudia, I may have given you bad cans but at least they are not of human flesh.

I can't wait to see what my final can is.

Total Mystery Can 6 - Peter

Ok, this one baffles me. No idea what the fuck it is. I ate lunch at home (a nice healthy burger and fries and sweet tea!). I opened the can and at first thought it was some kind of chipped beef or corned beef or something even though the can was very tiny, like tuna. But when I tried to poke the VERY solid substance with a fork, it finally broke apart like fish. Yet it didn't smell fishy (unlike the greens). I tasted it and all I could taste was salt. I thought the hominy grits were damn salty, but HA! This was fucking the Great Salt Lake in a can of some fucked up food! What the hell was it?

A two-can day

So last night I went out for burgers and was too full to do the can thing when I got home, and, well, it worked to my benefit. I opened the last two smaller cans tonight for dinner, and found in the first...



Gravy.

Actually, I ran a fork through the can to make sure it was, indeed, gravy, and that there wasn't some fucked up malignant surprise hidden inside the grey-brown sludge in the can.

Whew. It's just gravy. In a fucking can.

In the second, I discovered...



Potatoes.

Now, I know that for some people, there's nothing better than potatoes and gravy. But these potatoes had some kind of vinegary sauce on them, and little chunks/flecks of some pseudo-meat product.

Plus, I've never really been a gravy eater. I can cook an ass-kicking Thanksgiving dinner, but I never really learned to make gravy and never really liked it so I didn't care.

But since this isn't real gravy anyway -- not if it comes in a can -- I can manage.

I drained the potatoes and threw out the fleck-chunks, then fried them up in a little olive oil, and topped them with gravy gently warmed in the microwave.



Mmmmm. Somewhat vinegary potatoes (please note the "herbs" and "seasoning" that I did not add) and gravy-like substance.

I ate every bite. A whole can of potatoes and about 2/3 of a can of gra... whatever that was.

yuck

So I opened my can with the intent of taking it with me to work for lunch along with some stirfry... and oh my lord. The contents were some stringy fake beefy stuff, with hard flat things, and then, slimy mushroom skins. Not the mushrooms, but the hollowed out caps. All in some red-brown sauce.

I pinched my nose and vanquished half the can... while my co-worker sort of just stared at me and shook her head.

Since then, oh 2:30, I have felt these churnings in my stomach, which is very unhappy with me. I've had two false alarms of almost puking in the bathroom - a public restroom, eeew. I'm trying to decide if it's mental or if I broke my stomach on something.

I'll post the pictures later and you'll see the brown stew. I normally don't eat fake meat products, besides plain tofu.

Thank God there's only one day left, even if it is the giant can of liquid. Kevin, I would love you if you gave me tomato soup even though it's not my favorite.

Belated day five.

Apparently I had a canned salad with my lasagna yesterday.

I have been so stoked to eat leftover veggie squash and mushroom lasagna all week. I'm a leftover junkie. Hot food served cold... before this challenge things straight from the can were awesome.


So I opened the can, and it was greens... I'll post a picture in a minute. Or I thought it was. Later I found out this is preserved lettuce... blech.

THey were the saltiest green thing I have ever eaten, it was overwhelming. I drank three glasses of water with my lunch. It turns out the salt was the only nutritional value in the can. And you know what else is unfair about China... it was like a never ending origami can of lettuce... it just kept unfolding and regenerating itself.

I'm about to open another can for lunch... put in tupperware and share the smell with the microwave at work. I think I'll eat it with leftover stirfry with yummy canned sprouts in it.

Peter Day 5

Well, what an relief, if not a bit uninspired. I was having leftover chicken enchiladas YUM YUM for dinner. I fearfully opened can five and it was peas! Plain old, non fishy, non salted peas! Easy to eat! PHEW!

Day 5, Can 5

My meal this evening was baked chicken breast with lentils and broccoli.


Having eaten the rest of the Spaghetti-O's for lunch today, I couldn't wait to see what my can was for this evening!

I think they are Ortega Chilis, but I can't be sure as they didn't have much flavor. No matter, I ate half the can. Although, I do have a bit of indigestion now.

What will tomorrow bring, more cat food or something delicious like yesterday?

Peter's Semi-Homemade Enchiladas

Chicken Enchiladas are quite easy to make. You CAN go crazy if you want and roast up a chicken and make the enchilada sauce from scratch, but as Sandra Lee would say “why bother.” They basically taste the same. Here’s the recipe I use, very very very slightly inspired by Lorena.

Roasted Chicken (I use Safeway’s because they are tender and yummy)
Ortega Enchilada Sauce
Onion
Chopped Olives
Cheese
Sour Cream
Corn tortillas

Take the meat off the chicken. Sautee some onions in olive oil and the mix in the chicken and about a quarter of the chopped olives. Let it cook and get nice and hot. I personally do NOT add any other spices to the chicken mixture, but many people do.
Construct your enchiladas in a casserole pan. Just add chicken to corn tortillas and then attempt to roll them up nicely in the pan, which never works. They always come undone so I just smash them down.

Pour the can of enchilada sauce over the enchiladas. Add grated cheese to the top.
Cover with foil and cook at 400 degrees for about a half hour. Take the foil off and then cook them until the tops are as brown as you want them. I personally don’t like burnt cheese on my enchiladas so I take them out pretty quickly after I take the foil off.

Top with sour cream. Which I forgot to do when I ate them last night damnit!

Day Four - Peter

I went shopping today after going to the beach with my dog. It was a lovely day in SF. I bought stuff for chicken enchiladas:


So I opened Lorena's can and thankfully, it wasn't near as hideous as the others so far!


I think it was hominy grits or something similar but Lorena obviously bought the ones with extra salt because these things were a fucking salt lick. As you can see, I spooned half the can into my waiting mouth.

Can 4, Day 4

I feel wealthy.

I made cold whole-wheat noodle salad with red peppers, green onions, pea pods and Asian dressing, and opened a can of...

Smoked Oysters!

Yeah!

I wish I'd had some delicious, buttery crackers to go with them.

I LOVE this game!

Pictures to come as soon as I am done burning discs.

assault and battery....

....with a deadly can.

One.. it was dented to shit. Two... it hissed at me when I shook it. Three... it smelled like tangy feet when I opened it. Four... the metal from the inside of the can had come off into the contents. Five... it had mold inside.



I am a brave girl... I have a stomach of glass... but I'm still brave. I don't wanna die. And after consulting two people on whether it was an okay idea to participate in my day 4 can... the agreement was no.

Again I ask, what was this supposed to be? I feigned to lick one and was called a moron. Decided, not what I want to be remembered for.

I don't know if you can see it, but this is the mold and peeled metal inside the can....

Either way, I want to know what the F it was?

Day 4, Can 4

I just opened my 4th can and I couldn't be happier! Peter said one of them would be a treat and I am sure this is it! I prepared a dinner of baked salmon, lentls and a salad and sat down to open my can.


I open my can to find Spaghetti O's and Wieners!

I have a secret love for Spaghetti O's and have since childhood. It doesn't really go with my meal but who cares, I love it!

I ate half the can and am saving the second half for my lunch tomorrow. Thank's Peter!

Pate, Venison and Vienna Sausages

This evening, Dan and I went out to dinner where I dined on real pate and a lovely venison loin. I came home to have my nightly cup of tea and my 3rd can: Vienna Sausages. Yummy!

I haven't had Vienna Sausages since I was a child. I bet they would taste wonderful with lotus nuts in syrup!


I can't wait to see what is in store for me on Sunday. I am sure it will be just as delicious as these sausages!

Green-y goodness

Apparently, I've had my RDA of folic acid and Vitamin C today, thanks to my mystery can of mustard greens from the Piggly Wiggly.

Got chicken for dinner (because Jocelyn is now a convert to the Church of Chik-fil-A) and opened my can to find what I thought was spinach, but what Claudia told me was mustard greens. No offensive odor.

I've been eating my stuff straight from the can so far, but I didn't want the juice from the greens to make my chicken soggy.

But I ate the whole can. Yummy!



I think Claudia is disppointed that I have not been grossed out so far. And she asked if I was going to eat chicken for the rest of the week. Maybe I am. But no one ever said there was a rule that I had to vary my entrees.

The true meaning of mystery can

Twas the hour before dinner and all over my dish
not one smell was churning, not even some fish
The pita was toasted in the oven with care
Anticipating my cans' contents would soon be there

The peanut butter and jelly were warmed in the fire
While visions of the can made my thoughts quite dire
And Lorena in her jammies and me in my keds
Had settled at the table waiting for nasal dread

When after opening my can what should I find
Some hollow mushy white things of some kind
I pinched my nose and broke off a piece
Chewed and squished it to bits with my teeth

I'm afraid dear friends I still do not know
What Kevin possibly could have sent to my home
In that metal can that was mailed to my door
But I'm almost positive it had something to do with corn

Seriously dude, what was this?



I added some spices and toasted it... but in all honesty... I didn't know what it was, or how to cook it... and it was better than raw... but it still tasted like crap. spicy corny crap-- it's what's for dinner.

Suckit Lorena

Well. Day three. Leftover Vietnamese bbq chicken for lunch. What goes perfectly with v.chicken? Certainly not some sort of "yam" thing, that's for sure.

Luckily, the yams didn't smell up my kitchen which still has a lingering smell of boiled mushrooms/oysters and fish flavored greens!

I'm a bit surprised though. You'd think canned yams wouldn't be terribly offensive to eat, yet somehow, they are. Very offensive.

I'm going out for a beer to try to get rid of the taste of yams still in my oystered, fish greens mouth.

Kevin sucks.

So, I have decided that Kevin is tactically trying to launch a longterm assault. It's not about opening the can and seeing something you'd rather not ingest. It's about the lingering smell... that has infested our house for two days now.

I was scared of what awaited me because of the sounds eminating from the solid shake.. I was anticipating beans of some kind... dreading the idea of peas or black-eyed peas... but I was in a hurry and decided stir fry was the best option... and I was going to suck it up and eat half a can of whatever solid little treats were swimming around.


This was my dinner.

This was my can.



Really? Ok, so bean sprouts and stir fry, high-five... but I'm kind of worried about the other smelly stringy things that could be in cans from China waiting on my counter. Sauerkraut and bean sprouts... huh...

I was mostly okay, until... I smelled them... and realized that in a can sprouts become... well, disgusting... much like how our trashcan now smells, because Kevin hates flowers and cupcakes, and cinnamon buns and anything else that smells good. He is a hater of pleasant smells.
I tried to contain my excitement for my sprouty dinner.

Peter's Cans Day 2

Honestly, I'm glad everyone else in the game seems to be in such gung-ho spirits and a cheery "bring it on" type rah-rah attitude. I'm seriously glad everyone is enjoying this game.



I had drinks after work at my local bar. And it got to that point where you either stay and end up drunk hours and hours later, or you leave, get dinner and get home by 6:30 with just a slight buzz. I chose the later. But as I sipped my last cocktail, I started to get anxious over dinner and specifically...the can. I wanted bbq Vietnamese food from this awesome place. But if something filled the room with a stench like those wretched greens did, I'd quickly lose my taste for the Vietnamese treats.

As I feared, I opened a can of soggy, hideous, mushy mushrooms in rancid mushroom juice. The kitchen filled with the stench of rotten well water. I forced myself to eat two forkfulls and that's it. I'm already nervous for tomorrow.

Peter's Can

Ok, can't figure out how to add to a post and have the stupid photos show up in the right place, or how to delete them!

As I was saying, I had a pork burrito for dinner from one of the numerous taqueria's within walking distance from my house. Ha ha Kev. Here is the photo of that, hopefully:

Ok, the photo is at the top of the page of the burrito. I think.

So I randomly chose one of dear sweet Lorena's cans and at first was happy. Greens! I'm a confederate and I love greens! I heated them up and as they warmed, some fishy smell started filling my kitchen. What the fuck? I ate three bites before the stench of fishy flavored greens made me practically hurl. What the hell was in those because it certainly was not bacon fat! Three bites counts though, it wasn't quite half the can but close. Very very close. Here's the greens in the can with my burrito.

I'm ready for day two!

Kevin's Can Day 1
I prepared myself a lovely London Broil with a nice side salad and sat down with my can in anticipation of what I might find:


I open the can and find:

Pickled Beets!

Child's play. Ate the whole thing. This game is a cinch.