Renowned Hamptons chef Ina Garten slunk off in shame yesterday after it was revealed the linens on the ship's tables on her bally-hooed cruise were, in actuality, polyester blend.Garten had invited a veritable who's who of Hamptons life along on her cruise, including her many gay male friends, none of whom know how to cook without her help, as well as Mel Brooks and Saul Zabar, owner of, well, you know.
The table-top nightmare was just the last cheese straw in a series of faux pas that had Garten's Hamptons "friends" gasping.
First, the ship's kitchen crew could not follow her recipe for tarte tatin, and improperly caramelized the apples. Garten was able to fudge her way through it by serving scoops of vanilla-bean ice cream on top of the tarte, but several guests were heard to remark about the lack of dark brown, gooey sauce around the apple slices.
That's when the whispers started among the Hamptons crowd.
Garten had promised a demonstration for the 400 registered cruise attendees, and was able to make pans full of home-baked bleu cheese crackers as snacks, but when Garten tried to actually attend the cocktail party, her Hamptonite guests were shocked.
"We thought she was the kitchen help," said Elaine Kaufman, owner of, well, you know. She quickly chartered a helicopter for herself and Saul Zabar, leaving Mel Brooks holding the crackers.
